{radio}

An ongoing playlist of the soundtrack to my life these days. Some songs are all-time favorites, some are just fun to dance around to. Some are deep and thought-provoking, some are shallow and dumb. Some I relate to heavily, some I listen to in search of understanding. Some are jubilant, some are depressing. Some are widely popular, some you won’t know yet.

THE IDEAL WAY TO USE THIS LIST:
Read my description first, click on the picture to listen to the song on Spotify, and so on.
You can also find the entire Spotify playlist in the sidebar if you’re at a computer, or down at the bottom of this page if you’re on mobile.
You do you, babe. My land’s a lawless one.
Merry listening.

Take Me Out – Young Summer
I started and finished the Looking For Alaska series about a month ago and I’m still not okay. I read the book several years ago, knew the story, the ending, but even still, I’m not okay. I don’t know how these young adult shows based on books manage to get under my skin so well, but dangit. I love the way Alaska, specifically, was re-imagined and brought to life. All the characters were great, except for maybe Pudge, he didn’t translate as well as he could have, but I digress. I’m not okay.

Hard Feelings – Brian Fallon
We need to revisit a conversation and reset the record straight here. Several months ago – close to a year at this point – I shared a Gaslight Anthem song and wrote something about my disdain for the band breaking up, as well as slight confusion over anyone making a decisions to dip out of music when things are seemingly going so well. First, let me say that I clearly did not do as thorough of research as I evidently should have; I read an article that I now realize was likely first published soon after the band split and things were still more uncertain pertaining to their individual futures, leading to the conclusion that everyone was stepping away from music indefinitely. The band still isn’t a thing anymore, so I mean, the article and my understanding of it weren’t exactly wrong, per se, but I for sure should have dug deeper. Fast forward to a couple months ago, I happened to see a musician I follow go live with this Brian Fallon fella on Instagram, so I tuned in because I was bored at home (#covid), and guess what? Turns out he was the lead singer of Gaslight and has a solo career now and never quit music at all and I’m just late to the party. I screwed that one up. My apologies. To take it full circle though, we’re friends on Instagram somehow now, so I will never mess up anything pertaining to his career again. It’s like, the nicest form of revenge? Is there a word for that? Being taught a lesson, but in a good way? Whatever. The world works in funny ways, man. Hopefully there are no… hard feelings in any of this. OkAy, oKaY, I’ll see myself out now.

Giants – Dermot Kennedy
I mean, you already know I’m going to talk about anything the man releases, so here we are. Giants is a bop, there’s no doubt about that, and I swoon at the lines, “Those eyes used to know me, it’s been way too long. You are the moon and the stars and all they gaze upon. Time will never move slowly, what you waiting on?” And also the little AEIWNF reference with, “I still love you though.” But it’s certainly not on the same level as AEIWNF, in my opinion. It’s good, and I enjoy listening, but it’s not an immediate favorite. I’d almost daresay it’s forgettable, but it is early on. There’s plenty of time for it to win over my heart. Once again, not to say that I don’t like it, but the higher my expectations, the harder my critique, ya know? Here’s to hoping the next release is a real soul-clincher.

Medusa In Disguise – Grace Williams
I feel comfortable saying Grace has put out some of my favorite 2020 new releases. I liked her before, but she’s coming in extra hot this year, growing in artistry. This is one of my favorites to listen to in the car with the windows down. It makes me kinda sad and wistful about days gone by, but also thankful to no longer be a teenager. Let’s be real. Those days sorta sucked, honestly. No idea why it’s often so romanticized.

Look What You Made Me Do – Jack Leopards & The Dolphin Club
You. Guys. This. Song. What. The. Heck. Ladies and gentleman, this is quintessential Taylor Swift, right here. Jack Leopards & The Dolphin Club, a band that seemingly sprung up overnight with no other songs in their discography, landed a spot in the television show Killing Eve with this dark and much-stripped-back cover, gaining much attention when Taylor herself shared the song on her Instagram stories. Credited to Jack Antonoff, a staple pillar in the team of masterminds that have helped Taylor create her past few albums, and Nils Sjöberg, the previous one-hit wonder with songwriting and producing credits for Calvin Harris’ This Is What You Came For (cough, Taylor Swift’s pseudonym, cough), the two were known to have been in the studio this past December with Austin Swift, Taylor’s younger brother. It didn’t take Swifties long to make the connection that Austin used to have The Dolphin Club as his Twitter handle in reference to a photo of him as a little boy wearing a shirt with said phrase. The same photo clearly used as reference for this album art. So basically, if your head is spinning, Jack Leopards & The Dolphin Club is a made-up band of Jack Antonoff and Taylor and Austin Swift, with Jack and Taylor producing and Austin on vocals. I mean, allegedly. Nothing has been confirmed officially. But come on. If this sort of shenanigan isn’t right up Taylor’s alley, I don’t know what is. Why though? The theory is that with Borchetta and Braun owning Taylor’s back catalog of music, and her prohibition from being legally allowed to rerecord her own songs until later this year, Taylor found a work-around to prevent the pair from making a profit on this project, and maybe got a little chuckle in the process. Allegedly. Once again, as of now, May 2020, nothing has been officially confirmed. We’ll see if Jack Leopards & The Dolphin Club remain a one-hit wonder, or if they have further tricks up their sleeves.

Ulysses – RYVOLI
In honor of the SpaceX rocket launch yesterday, I’ll present you with this timely tune. Jenn and Samantha explained the inspiration behind the song to Atwood Magazine: “Funny enough, it wasn’t originally inspired by the story of Ulysses. I named it that because the song actually started with me reading a book about the Apollo 11 mission. In the book there was a quote from a scientist saying we had the technology to see a man into orbit but didn’t know how we would get him back. That’s what first sparked the idea that we do things in life all the time that we have no idea what the outcome will be. Even the things we plan for are initial theories, because anything can happen. Since it was first inspired by space, I named it Ulysses because I thought that was the name of the first monkey sent to space. But then I looked it up and realized I was confused with this movie I used to watch all the time as a kid called Rocket Man and the monkey in that movie is named Ulysses. The first monkey sent to space was Albert,  but that was a terrible song title, so we kept Ulysses. But upon researching the story of Ulysses, I realized the theme fits quite well… So at the end of the day, it all worked out!”

Wildflower – 5 Seconds of Summer
Never thought I’d be endorsing a 5SOS song, yet we are. Not that I have anything against them, specifically; I’m a tough sell on the whole boy band thing. It works here though. Maybe I’ll give them another chance to break me of my distaste? This song isn’t really profound or deep, but I need that sometimes. As much as I love to compound sadness on sadness, or stockpile as many deep emotions as I can, my mental state needs a break every now and then. To just let everything go and enjoy something for no reason greater than it’s catchy and fun to dance around to. A short escape. Also, it sorta reminds me of something Harry Styles would put out, and that’s an automatic point in their favor. Just sayin’.

Much Too Much – Lennon Stella
So, my love life is going tragically at the moment, and that’s putting it mildly, but it’s fine, I’m fine. I went to a coffee shop over the weekend for the first time in months (thanks, covid), and wouldn’t you know COFFEE SHOP BOY WAS WALKING OUT AS I WAS WALKING IN. Always passing by like two ships in the night. I told you I would update you though, so there it is. He has not disappeared forever. Someday we will talk. And maybe work on a crossword? This poor man has no idea.

Be Kind – Marshmello ft. Halsey
I’ve been a Halsey fan since the beginning, pretty closely following everything she puts out, and this is easily one of my favorite songs of hers in a long time. Just a fun pop bop about the hardship of trying to steadily love someone who can’t be happy with anything in their hands. Light, but not light at all. Exactly the sort of thing that encompasses her artistry, I think. What a great collab.

Portugal – WALK THE MOON
The band started putting in the work for this song while touring in, that’s right, Portugal. Name – check. Nick says the song is “a reminder there are people who I really, really love who are gone now and it’s my reminder that they are still close, and that they’re still a part of me and part of my life.” 

Unbreakable – Seafret
Ink clings upon my fingertips
Yet the page sits vacant for weeks
The lines are bold and state what they want
Always an extension of me
They creep their way under my skin
And run between my bones
The blue thread knotting up with my veins
Creating themselves a home
But not this time; I won’t let them in
Or my own words out
The page remains clean and empty
My thoughts behind my mouth
If I look in the mirror
Am I really here at all?
If my eyes don’t meet themselves
They cannot be appalled
Scratches run across my face
Where I tried to take it off
Shards of hope once pierced my cheeks
Before I found their faults
My shoes pinch and dig at my skin
Can I know they’re really my own?
The same path I walk every day
Doesn’t feel much like my home
If I turn the music loud enough
I’m no longer able to think
If I poured myself a few glasses of wine
My dismay wouldn’t be so distinct
Instead I stare at this page
The page stares back at me
I pace the room in spirals
Eventually grab the keys
No driving will get me away from me
But if I go, was I ever here?
No place will save me from myself
But I hear Montana is a good place to disappear

The Best (On The Back Porch) – Josiah and the Bonnevilles
This song just officially came out a couple weeks ago, but I’ve gotten the pleasure of listening to it for… definitely quite a few months. Possibly over a year, at this point. Josiah hooked me up with demos a while back, so I currently have four versions of this one song downloaded on my phone. Definitely an overachiever here, but it’s fine, I’m fine. The process is neat. I admire it. I also may be slightly biased and proud. It’s fine. Great song.

Why We Ever – Hayley Williams
As a looong-time Paramore fan, at least a small piece of me will always support anything Hayley puts out. That being said, this new solo album hasn’t exactly wowed me. I don’t dislike it, but not many of the songs really jump out as being truly excellent or memorable. This one is probably my favorite, I think. An early favorite, anyway. For one, the lyrics resonate with my own life right now. Kind of a look-back on a relationship that’s ended, forgetting all the bad things in the rose-colored nostalgia, and regretting doing things the way you did. I think it exists in those moments when you’re sitting in your room all alone, when it feels like the whole world is on your shoulders, like nothing is going right, but you’d cut your right arm off with a pair of scissors if it meant you could just talk to that one person again. Bonus points if the reason you can’t talk to them is for reasons you yourself put in motion *nervous laughter.* On a lighter note, I love songs with sound shifts, and this one delivers. The more chipper beginning to the lonely end. Brilliant.

Miss Ohio – Craig Cardiff
Originally written and performed by Gillian Welch, this song has quite a number of cover versions out at this point. This one is my favorite so far though. I like the planky piano sound and overall nonchalant aesthetic. It gets stuck in my head all the time, despite not listening to it very often. “I wanna do right, but not right now,” is an iconic lyric.

A Troubled Mind – Noah Kahan
My knee-jerk favorite from his new ep, which is pretty solid throughout. While still in the throes of this weird covid-19 pandemic, Noah explained on Instagram that the set of five songs that make up Cape Elizabeth was, “recorded over one week at my friend Phin Choukas’ home studio in Vermont exactly one week after I left New York City in March. Returning to my parent’s farm home town of 1100 people from a small apartment in a city of 8.3 million felt like I was returning to some part of me I had left behind, a reunion with that obnoxious, ambitious, and totally terrified teenager with some folk songs and an acoustic guitar who first took off for Showbusiness in 2015. Throughout this crisis, I’ve spoken to friends who say they feel similarly, like they’re back in high school again, back with their old selves. Long grown and emancipated siblings inhabit their old rooms and settle back into long forgotten routines, family dogs think, ‘what… are you doing here? I don’t see a Christmas tree.’ We become who we were, for better or for worse. I wanted to do justice to this experience, and create something that felt like who I used to be: a kid at his friends home studio with an acoustic guitar and a story. Free from the shackles of constant analysis and crippling self-criticisms, unburdened by the never-ending comparison to those around me, I recorded some raw acoustic tunes about worry and departure. I gave myself a one week deadline, and got to work.”

Settle Down – The 1975
You know I can’t be found with you.

You Led Me To The Wrong – Ola Belle Reed
I can only hope within my wildest dreams to someday be half as cool as Ola Belle and her banjo. I will never come close.

Sometime Around Midnight – The Airborne Toxic Event
This song still guts my soul every time I hear it. The way it builds, so full of emotion. Based on a very specific and real interaction, yet utterly universal.
Did you know this entire album was actually supposed to be a novel, but Mikel ultimately decided his writings worked better as songs, so he scraped together some guys for a band. The group’s name came from the book
White Noise by Don DeLillo where the protagonist is forced to face his fear of death thanks to a big chemical explosion, referred to as – you guessed it – “the Airborne Toxic Event.” I love these sorts of backstories.

Never Be Back – Leif Vollebekk
Back in 2017, I somehow stumbled across Elegy and it was so different from everything else I was listening to at the time, yet something about it just roped me right on in. He tells stories differently than most artists, and I don’t know that it would work for most artists, but it sure works for him. And leaves my soul gutted in the process, but it’s fine, it’s fine. My appreciation has had a full revival over the last couple months coinciding with this album release. This one was an early favorite. I have the utmost writing envy for: “Face like a myth and it’s soft like the sea, can’t see your eyes when you’re looking at me. Blade to the blade just to sharpen the truth, I know your eyes so much better than you. Mirrors ain’t nothing, they’re backwards for you. Photos are flat and you know that it’s true. I know exactly the shade of the blue, I know exactly the shade of the blue.”

1984 (Native) – NIGHT TRAVELER
A mood.

Split Stones – Maggie Rogers
This song started out with two base recordings: one of Maggie’s breath while hiking in Oregon, and the other of two sticks against an empty silo across from her family’s Maryland home. They come in heavy at the intro and carry on throughout the rest of the song as makeshift instruments in their own rights. I adore things like that. The out-of-the-box creativity, as well as the deeper level of personalization. Nobody else could have made this song just like this.

No Vacancy – Rainbow Kitten Surprise
If I had to ascribe one emotion to this song, I would probably choose “defeat.” Lyrically, it can sound indifferent, or even hateful at times – and maybe I’m drawing too deeply on my own experiences – but I feel like this song lives in that brief period after you’ve reached the absolute end of your rope with a situation and throw your hands up for the last time. It’s not that you actually don’t care anymore, because you do. You don’t think so poetically about people you don’t care about, right? But you know you can’t keep doing the same thing, so you make yourself indifferent. You make yourself unavailable. You don’t want to sit on it, talk about it, think about it, cry about it. It’s just time to go do something else. So maybe you’re impatient with anything preventing that. Maybe you say things you don’t mean. Maybe you have a nervous breakdown in the middle of the song. Maybe things will work themselves out. Maybe they won’t. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe that’s the beauty of art.

Amerika – Young the Giant
Czech author Franz Kafka began writing a novel between 1911-14 titled Amerika, but never completed the project and really didn’t want it published. Who cares what writers have to say though, right? The book was published anyway, in its incomplete state, in 1927 after Kafka’s death. The storyline follows a man’s immigration to America, where he seeks someone to help look after him in this strange new place, but keeps getting taken advantage of in his timidity – an experience all too familiar to Kafka’s family. Flash forward several dozen decades, Sameer read Amerika while touring with the rest of the band and now this song is what they’ve got to show for it. He explained to Rolling Stone: “It really resonated with me. First of all, because the book is unfinished… there’s no ending, so it’s this infinite feedback loop of this journey that the main character has when he comes to America on a boat. Essentially all he wants to do is find a place to belong, but every time he gets closer, he finds himself a step behind again. I think for the immigrants in America, it makes a lot of sense. You can become complacent sometimes, completely unaware, and that’s not a bad thing – that’s kind of the goal, just to feel like you belong. But every now and then, you realize how far away you are and how different you are from other people. That’s something that you should be proud of, and always represent, as opposed to trying to forget, instead of pushing away.”

West Coast – James Vincent McMorrow
So, I was skeptical about this one at first. No one does Lana Del Rey like Lana Del Rey. While that hard fact absolutely still remains true, I love what James did here. Particularly the way the song starts feeling more and more euphoric by the second chorus instead of taking a more psychedelic turn like the original. I think it fits the style better, puts you on the balcony over some California beach town, the wind blowing, emotions at a high. That being said, James wins the spot here. Well done, mate.

Keep It Loose, Keep It Tight – Amos Lee
Such a gentle and comforting sort of nostalgia. Keep your priorities in check. Hold loosely the things that don’t truly matter, hold tightly the things that do.

Something American – Jade Bird
The British singer-songwriter commented on the song: “When I wrote it, it was almost ironically, about ‘something American’ being like the dream. And kind of reflecting on a relationship and being like, you know, you went for the obvious thing which was a cliche… the woman who is perfect, and blonde, and blah, blah blah. And wishing for that ‘something American’ relationship, like kind of … it’s the ‘American Dream’ basically, I was playing on that.”

Sweet Dreams – BORNS
Just dropping by with your regularly scheduled underrated BORNS song. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: why the man isn’t playing on top forty pop radio stations is beyond me.

Not – Big Thief
This was evidently one of Obama’s favorite songs of 2019 and I don’t quite know what to do with this information.

Follow You – Bring Me The Horizon
Oli explains this song was inspired by his relationship with his wife, Hannah: “(we) were going through a rough patch where things didn’t look too good. It was a real eye-opener for me, because I realized that no matter how bad being together can sometimes get, the alternative is so much worse. It’s one of those beautiful realizations that can only come from something really ugly.”

Freshly Laundered Linen – Boom Forest ft. Phox
This song makes me swooooon. So dreamy. But like, in a backwoods sort of way.

Dance Solo – AVEC
A pretty obvious “move on” song, AVEC explains: ” Love is such a beautiful – and at the same time, sad – thing to happen, and this chaotic relationship between these two forces, I imagine it as if it’s just a dance. With some people, you dance for a while until you see and feel and realize that it’s not gonna work out – and even though it’s so hard to let go, often it’s the only way.”

Poet – Bastille
Bastille as a whole, but specifically Dan, is woefully underrated. Inspired by William Shakespeare’s Sonnet 81, the song revolves around the idea that the written word, or poetry specifically, holds the powers of immortality. That whatever you write about can last through the ages. It’s loving someone so much that you think they should last through the ages too, that mere forgettable spoken words would never be enough, that everyone should know of this love, and that poetry holds the key.

My Heart’s Always Yours – Arkells
Captures those moments of just lying in bed, kinda unimposingly watching and admiring the person you love as they do these normal and routine things like getting ready for work. Romantic, but in the most ordinary way.

Come Home To Me – LEON
Favorite song right now. On repeat for daayyyzzzz. Utterly dreamy, but in this perfectly simple way. Lotta’s voice is so nicely soulful and raspy, understated and dynamic. Ugh. I even like the studio version better than the acoustic, so that means you KNOW they did things RIGHT.

Belong – X Ambassadors
Almost, almost. Slowly, slowly.

Can I Call You Tonight? – Afterglow
Sloan wrote the instrumental part of this song six months before coming up with the lyrics, which he haphazardly scribbled down after a phone call with a friend. Having no true meaning or personal connection, Sloan just wanted some lines that worked with the music. Seeing as I’m here right now, writing about the song, I’d say he succeeded.

Garden Song – Phoebe Bridgers
I think the entirety of this song as an abstract collection of nostalgic feelings and memories vs. any sort of linear storytelling. It sounds to be a conversation between the Phoebe of today and her younger teenage self still in the trenches of growing up in an abusive household. Thematically, I personally take it as kind of a murdering of the past self/unhappiness/bad situation/etc. and planting a garden over the dead body. A song of growth. Of covering something rotten in nice flowers. The body will always be there underneath a layer of dirt, forever haunting the garden, but at least it’s not still sitting at your dining room table.

Fire – Barns Courtney
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Barns found inspiration in getting dropped from a record label to write this song. He told radio.com, “I wrote as an appeal to myself to remember why I got into music and what it was all about and to hold on to whatever that spark was… It’s quite defiant as well, like this cannot be how it ends, it cannot be my situation.”

I Wanna Get Better – Bleachers
Basically a juxtaposition of pain and hope. “The story of my existence so far and a lot of the things I struggled with… a lot of the things on the album, including this song, are about loss. It feels joyous, but for me it’s very desperate,” Jack told Rolling Stone. Some of those things he struggled with include a damaging acid trip, witnessing 9/11 from his classroom window, the death of his thirteen-year-old sister to cancer, and the death of his cousin to the Iraq War, all before his twentieth birthday. Heavy, heavy stuff. The song basically chronicles the decision to accept these things for what they are and move on, or get better. To let tragedy touch you, but not control you. On a lighter note, Taylor Swift and Hayley Williams were two of the first people to hear this song and that makes me extremely happy.

Watch – Billie Eilish
Initially, I was drawn to the darker Vince Staples remix &burn, but these days I’m more into this version AND FEELING IT. Truly, I think the two are equally as great in different ways, and rather brilliant as a yin and yang pair. Watch &burn. Watch and learn. A remix situation gone right.

Falling Back – Mating Ritual
This is a playful-sounding song about those feelings of discontentment and restlessness involved with being trapped in this carousel of unfulfillment. It’s not optimistic or pessimistic, simply realistic. Sometimes, you just are where you are, and things aren’t guaranteed to get better. And that’s life.

Be My Queen – Seafret
Never been good but I never been better.

Poppies – Flipturn
I’d love to know the story or inspiration behind this song, but alas, I have yet to uncover anything. Historically, poppies have been used to symbolize drugs, medicine, and remembrance. I don’t know what you’re thinkin’, but I can tell you I’m thinkin’ one makes more sense than the other two. Also, album art is divine.

Strangers – Mt. Joy
A different sort of post-breakup song featuring New York City.

Brooklyn In The Summer – Aloe Blacc
Upon a casual listen-through, one may be led to believe that this is a rather sweet and happy song, but nay. You should know better than to expect such a recommendation from me. Ha. I’m kidding. Kinda. Basically, this is a song about the time following a breakup, when everything reminds you of what you’ve left behind. Aloe sums it up beautifully in an interview with Billboard: “To say someone feels like Brooklyn in the summer is the memory that every year, this memory is gonna come back and it’s gonna haunt you and you’re gonna feel those pains of wishing the relationship was still together… It’s not all bad because Brooklyn in the summer is so much fun that you can still go out and find your way and maybe fall in love again.” While I can’t say I’ve ever even been to Brooklyn in the summer, I have been to Atlanta a time or two, and the sentiment still rings true, ya know?

My Dear, A Wildfire – Fields&.
I’m a sucker for some good adjectives and descriptors and this song is riddled with them. I’m utterly enchanted.

Cynical Heart – Mckenzie Lockhart
Seriously one of my favorite songs about the struggles of maintaining a spirit of joy, and bonus points that it’s through the lens of faith. The simple line, “If the joy of the Lord is my strength, a cynical heart is my pain,” hits just the right way. I deeply resonate with it all and greatly appreciate any effort to write about the complicated aspects of Christianity. Any acknowledgement that a real relationship-based faith isn’t always easy and happy with trust in full-force. Much like everything else in life, it has its ups and downs, but the fight is certainly worth it.

Me Without You – GRAACE
I like to be with me when I’m with you.

And It’s Still Alright – Nathaniel Rateliff
From lively, fun, soul-filled tracks with big bands, to melancholic, wistful, dark ballads with front-porch-guitar-picking vibes, Nathaniel can effortlessly pull off an array of styles and moods. On this new solo album apart from the Night Sweats, we get the latter as he processes life after divorce and the death of a friend. I find this song to be almost bittersweet as it wars between a sunken defeat and scrappy overcoming. There’s a sadness, yes, but also a gentle comfort. It ain’t alright but it’s still alright.

Trailer Park – Grace Williams
You know I’ll always show up for local musicians. I discovered Grace through a coffee shop’s event calendar; while I was unable to attend her performance, something about her was intriguing enough for me to search out her website. Now here we are a couple years later and I’m still following along. There’s a dark, mysterious quality to her writing that you wouldn’t necessarily expect to come out of someone so young and almost innocent-seeming, but I think it adds to the beauty of creativity. I’m excited to see what’s in store for her future, and also hoping to maybe get to see her live one of these days. This song’s probably my favorite of her’s thus far; I’ve got writing envy for nearly all of it, but mostly: You’re taking up space in the room inside my head so I try to move the chairs, I try to move the bed, but this trailer is too small for someone like you.

I Won’t Run From It – Big Red Machine
The result when you combine Justin Vernon of Bon Iver and Aaron Dessner of The National. Justin’s impossibly abstract way of writing lyrics is more present than ever within this entire project; I truly feel there’s some genius meaning hiding in here somewhere, I’ve just yet to uncover it. I’ll be sure to update you though, should the epiphany ever strike. Either way, the sound and general ambiance are great, and that ain’t nothing.

Coastline – Hollow Coves
I currently sit at home, stuck in precautionary quarantine, and long to run away. I long for the summertime. I long for the ocean. I long to be inside this song, far away from here.

40 Watt – ELEL
This song is so FUN. There’s something about it that I really love, but something else about it that makes me really sad similarly to You’re My Window To The Sky, which we recently discussed. I don’t know what it is. I don’t think I’ve ever made any personal memories to this song, but it feels like I have somehow. Either way, I picture it being about newlyweds still very much in the honeymoon phase of things who have just moved into their new house together, and it’s a small house and they don’t have much money and life isn’t necessarily easy, but they’re so alive and happy to be there together and ready to make the best of it. I’m sorta romantic and cheesy sometimes, okay? Just let me have my story.

Pressure – The 1975
Ambiguous lyrics are rather par for the course when it comes to The 1975, and these are no exception. Quite possibly an account of living with the pressures of fame, it’s widely believed to be based on Matty’s experience growing up with famous parents and missing out on that sense of normalcy and constant dependability within a family. Which is kinda sad (duh. it’s The 1975). So I’d understand if you want to forget all of this and think happier thoughts as you bop around to this song in your car.

Good Old Days – David Keenan
The accent the accent the accent the accent the accent the accent the accent the accent the accent the accent the accent the accent the accent the accent. Moving the Ireland. Like, right now. Bye.

Woman – Mumford & Sons
Celebrating the mysteries of womankind, lovers, and love in general, this song makes me swoon. In a world filled with such scientific innovation, and with Google constantly at our fingertips, I think we’re steadily losing the ability to accept the things we can’t understand. The concept most often strikes me when pondering the unknowns of religion, but truthfully, there’s a level of mystery hidden in the shadows of so many things. Rather than take that as a testament to our own shortcomings, or a frustrating quality in others, I really love the attitude of simply sitting in wonderment over the beauty of its intricacies. Of appreciating the juxtaposition between what is known and what is not.

Traveling Alone – Tift Merritt
I don’t need nobody to be alone.

Brazil – Declan McKenna
Fun songs with actual depth >>> So, this was inspired by the 2014 World Cup which was hosted by, you got it, Brazil. The event brought to light a lot of corruption in the country, as well as the sport’s corporation. The song specifically focuses in on Swiss sports administrator Sepp Blatter, who was elected president of FIFA in 1998 and garnered a reputation for financial mismanagement and general corruption over the following decades. Blatter was thrown from office and banned from any and all FIFA activities in 2015, but not before making some kind of less-than-positive impact on little Declan here, who released this song at sixteen. My life is nothing.

Cathedral (Acoustic) – Jade Bird
Because sticking around one minute after you’re absolutely done is sticking around one minute too long.

Falling – Harry Styles
This song (and beautiful music video) is real life, and real life is real hard, and I ache and ache and ache and ache.

Running For So Long (House A Home) – Parker Ainsworth ft. Paris Jackson, Butch Walker, Jessie Payo
I’m nervous to start my car up
To turn onto the street
To get out at that spot
My departure on repeat
I’m apprehensive to go on in
And open up the door
To run my fingers along the wall
Hear the creaks inside the floor
I’m scared to find it different
The paint all in new shades
Pictures replaced nice and straight
In showy signs of upgrade
But deeper is dreaded fear
That eats me in the night
A knot that chokes my insides
A nightmare of a plight
I’m terrified it’ll be the same
As it always was before
A fire still under the mantel
A horseshoe above the door
The crack still in the window
A loose board down the hall
Books stacked up to the ceiling
Just exactly as I recall
I’m horrified I’ll sink to the ground
Feeling grateful to be home
But then dragged abruptly to my feet
And told it’s time to go
I’ll gather up my things again
Let myself out on my own
Hug my arms around my waist
My heavy head hanging low
I’ll drive around for hours
Blaming myself for it all
I’ll shame myself for caring so much
And become another house of fault

Shake Me Up – Magic Giant
Got the absolute pleasure of seeing Magic Giant with American Authors last month and oh. my. word. I’m not a mega fan of their music or anything, but they put on one of the best concerts I have ever been to in my entire life. And y’all know I’ve been to some concerts. That tour was so freakin’ fun. Both bands were all in the audience dancing around with us and super engaging and carefree. That night was magical. They’ve won my heart over completely. If you ever get the chance to see Magic Giant (or American Authors), do it. Seriously. They’re a fantastic group of people.

Oh No! (On the Back Porch) – Josiah and the Bonnevilles
When silence is deafening and open air is suffocating. When all your ties are cut but it feels like a noose.

Dog Years – Maggie Rogers
There’s something about being young and feeling invincible to time. Like life won’t ever change, for better or worse. That we’ll never reach thirty and become “old,” or get out of this rough patch, or outgrow that relationship, or move on to different things with the seasons of life. It feels like right here, right now, is eternity. Maggie pulled this song from similar inspiration, but her eternity was school, her ‘afterlife’ post-graduation. She shared upon release: “Dog Years is about a day I skipped class to stay in bed and make frozen pizza with a boy I loved… dance parties in the kitchen… chocolate milk and the Tompkins Square dog park… thank you note… change, about loving and leaving and still loving, about trusting yourself, about trusting the universe, about being a good friend and never having enough time.”
Chew on that for a spell and tell me it doesn’t make you nostalgic.

Honey (B) – Levi Matthan
As my skin nearly grows mold from all the rain we’ve gotten, and my eyes reflect the dull gray bouncing off these February skies, I’m drawn to summertime references like a fire on chilly nights. Let’s also appreciate the album art. I swoon. Perfection.

Only Son – Shakey Graves
Happy IX annual Shakey Graves Day, y’all! Only 111 more days until I see the man myself and I am psyched. 11 is also my favorite/lucky number, and I feel that’s just an important thing worth mentioning. Now go listen to some Shakey and revel in the perfection.

Lovesick – BANKS
Forever envious of folks who have cool/unique attributes in their names that provide mononymous artistic superpowers. Banks is Jillian’s last name and it works. My last name, in contrast, will never ever be included in anything artistic. Like, ever. Either Imma have to marry someone with an excellent surname, or I’m just plum outta luck.

You Couldn’t Lie To Me In Paris – Leif Vollebekk
With that, dearest, farewell
That’s too much cause
The time we waste reading a missive
Will never have been worth writing

anywayican – WALK THE MOON
Have not seen Coffee Shop Boy since that time I scared him away. Just in case you were wondering. Scared him real good. He’ll come around though. That is, if he ever comes around again so that I can make him come around. Boys are dumb.

I’d Rather Go Blind – Grace Potter
Having to watch someone you were really close to for a long time suddenly be falling all over someone else right after cutting ties with you isn’t the best feeling. Zero stars, would not recommend.

Summer’s End – Nathaniel Rateliff
This is one of the saddest-feeling songs to me. Like, it makes me ache in the most deliciously nostalgic way. I hate the discomfort of it, but love the magic. I love that music can do that, just, out of nowhere. It reminds me of two summers ago. I picture riding bikes late at night in the city, swimming at the lake after sharing a banana split, shivering on the roof in the heat of the day, playing board games at night, and walking around the park while toying with the idea of making big life changes. I don’t think of those things from those places though. I think of them from here, today, as everything’s different, and it’s bittersweet. I long to go back there sometimes. Not to necessarily do anything differently, but simply to experience it again. Retaste what I’ll never get back. But alas. Much like leaving behind childhood, forward we grow.

Anthem For The Weak – The Harmeleighs
Placed within a concept album for mental illness, this song fits right in as it personifies that mean little voice that lives inside many of our minds. Constantly rambling and chattering, it can be difficult to ignore, or “tune out.” Like a catchy hook, it bounces around infinitely, stuck in our heads. It’s hard to resist dancing around to the out-of-tune toxicity, even as it slowly eats away at our own skin.

Adeline – John-Robert
Because life don’t play out like the movies.

Sailor – Bluebiird
Um, Hannah Montana who? Turns out Emily Osment has some genuinely great chops of her own. I’m kind of obsessed with this song. And by “kind of,” I mean that it’s been on repeat for days. Also kind of hope she eventually goes on a little indie music tour. And by “kind of,” I mean that I would definitely buy a ticket. What a weird moment that would be though. Do you understand the hours of my life that have gone into watching Emily onscreen as Lily? Pretty sure my eyes would pop out of my head if she was suddenly across the room. Childhood come to life.

Aurora – Justin Nozuka
This song is basically the Hallmark movie version of embarking on a new journey. From actually leaving home to go on a wilderness expedition, to stepping out of your comfort zone in doing something new, this is the perfect soundtrack to give you the warm and fuzzies while drowning out the anxieties. Ha. In the end, we’ll be taken to where we’re going, and what a comforting thought that is.

August (Acoustic) – Flipturn
Do you still remember, babe? The moment, the darkness, the covers, the laughs, when I said “no” on the twentieth? Yeah, me neither.

Antidote (Live Arrangement) – Emily Wells
This one’s a little odd. I looked up a video of her actually performing it live, and it was even more odd. Not in, like, an obvious or showy way. It just sits funny. I can’t explain it. I think it’s supposed to be vaguely unsettling though. Or maybe it’s not and I’m a horrible person for insinuating such. Whatever the case may be, there’s something about it that I really like.

Cherry – Harry Styles
Unpopular opinion: THANK GOD ONE DIRECTION BROKE UP. Didn’t understand the group as a unit, but separately, they are golden. And by “they,” I really just mean Harry. The man is kinda brilliant. After such a great first album, I was worried the sophomore slump would kick in and this project would underachieve, but boy was I wrong. I think it *may* actually be better than the first. The music is gorgeous on this track. Reminds me of something Hozier would write. Lyrically, it’s quite sad as the narrator has a difficult time getting over an ex who has already moved on. It’s the Beautiful Couch phenomenon we’ve discussed before, about being home alone and pathetically stalking an ex on social media, only to find they appear to be in a better place than where you left them. Cherry adds in the additional sentiment of hoping you’re not forgotten, or the time spent together remains special and unique. A hope that the new person standing in your place doesn’t fully replace you and the things you brought to the table. I feel that. I’m also a four. So there’s that.

Crashing (Stripped) – Illenium ft. Bahari
This entire song is so catchy and rather clever. The pre-chorus is the best part, and if you disagree, you’re wrong.

New – Ben Platt
On today’s edition of Writing Envy, I present to you the lines: “Somewhere in your room, I left my virtue and my favorite shoes. I don’t want them back, never give them back to me. You can walk a mile in them, tell me how they feel on you. I’ll be busy being so brand new.” Like, snap.

Good Kisser – Lake Street Dive
This song is so FUN. If you’re going to speak about the bad, don’t forget to balance it out with the good. Or just, you know, keep your mouth shut.

Mr. Rattlebone – Matt Maeson
Speaking of drugs… The entire Hearse EP continues to revolves around the theme of the previous one, Who killed Matt Maeson, with the answer ultimately being himself. It isn’t very difficult to see how Mr. Rattlebone, a metaphor for cocaine, supports this concept. The song is super dark, haunting, and a little ethereal. It makes you feel something.

Milk – The 1975
In A Clockwork Orange, one of the characters takes his drugs wrapped in milk; the childlike drink combined with such an adult substance metaphorically symbolizes lost innocence. I don’t know that Matty has ever officially confirmed that this title is a reference to that metaphor, but it fits right in with the song, as the narrator observes a girl he knows fall deeper and deeper into the world of drugs while trying to cope with a broken heart. The greater the girl’s addiction to cocaine grows, the further she slides from innocence and the girl she used to be.

Everything – Ben Howard
I used to know this person, and there was a specific room in my house where we’d often go to talk and hang out, creating memories that were important to me and forming this bond that I thought we wouldn’t break. But then, in pursuit of trivial things, that person stopped coming around. Stopped talking to me at all. It took a while for me to feel comfortable going in that room again. Everything was normal, the world outside the window twirled on, but there was a bitterness behind the warmth of sunshine. Everything there reminded me of what was no longer there. But little by little, it grew to feel like home again. Little by little, my heart healed and started anew. Every kingdom may come to an end, but maybe behind every end is a new kingdom.

All Comes Down – Kodaline
I’m always here for a sarcastic cheers-to-you-and-your-successful-attempt-at-ruining-everything-including-my-heart-well-done ballad. Especially when the main message is I-can-and-will-change-my-circumstances. Steve wrote the opening line, “I still hear the sound of that runaway train,” as a little nod to Tom Petty’s Runaway Trains, which was an important song in the relationship he had just gotten out of. “Their song,” if you will. Just imagine all the personal, mundane references like this that are hiding inside every song. A level of cleverness that’s reserved for the writer alone. I think it’s great.

Midnight City – M83
The best and most memorable thing here – the thing that makes this song – is that opening riff part that continues to play sporadically throughout the rest of the four minutes. It’s unusual, grabs your attention, and feels iconic, but in an indie sort of way.
“Yes, yes,” you readily agree, “but, what is it?”
I’m so glad you asked! The sound was created by Anthony distorting his own voice. Not as fancy as you thought, huh? Now, knowing that it could theoretically count as vocals, I dare you to sing it. Ha.

You’re My Window To The Sky – The Avener, Kim Churchill
As soon as the opening starts, my stomach gets a tingle of excitement. A second or two later, it twists and flops. I’ve never made any memories to this song. Not that I can recall, anyway. I just started routinely listening to it last year, but something about it takes me back two years to a certain time and place. A certain feeling that makes my stomach burn with anger and my shoulders slump with defeat. I love the song. I absolutely love it. But I’m perplexed as to why it makes me feel so ill. Why it reminds me of the ghosts I’m determined to bury forever. I guess that’s art for you, huh?

Killer + the Sound – Phoebe Bridgers, Noah Gundersen, Abby Gundersen
What a dream collab. These two songs fit together well, and I kinda like that they kept it simple and did the two autonomously instead of trying to concoct a proper mashup. Not that a mashup wouldn’t have been epic too, but there’s something to be said about the simplicity here, from the pianos, to the harmonies, to the arrangement. Fingers crossed they someday officially write and record something new together.

Silver Springs – Fleetwood Mac
Stevie is my sixth cousin twice removed and I am eternally proud.

My Arms Were Always Around You – Peter Bradley Adams
Peter says this song was written in a van with a fellow tour mate. “We would switch off driving and sitting shotgun playing the guitar… The lyrics are a conversation between two people. It may not always be clear who’s talking, but that’s kind of the point.” Perfect. Someone add another point to the whole van life concept, please.

Lakehouse – Of Monsters and Men
Another version of this song exists, and in that version another set of lyrics goes like this: “The tallest man I’ve ever seen afloat on a boat… He keeps his only son close by in a bag… on his back.” Before I knew this other verse was a thing, I interpreted the song as being much more innocent and sweet – a homecoming song of sorts – but now I just don’t know. A lot of theories revolve around a tale of murder at some capacity, but I haven’t settled on that. I haven’t settled on anything other than the fact that it’s a really nice, super nostalgic-sounding song with maybe a darker message hidden underneath somewhere. Meaning aside, you can just automatically put my name on the list for anything that mentions sleeping all day. I’ll never not be here for that. Ha.

U.N.I. – Mating Ritual
I don’t concretely resonate with this song based on actual past experiences, but somehow do on a theoretical level. I’m also not fully being serious, but kinda. Like the music video. Not serious, but maybe kinda, but definitely not. I don’t, like, recommend the video, just because it’s… somethin’ else, but also, like, watch the video if you wish to view… somethin’ else. It’s certainly an aesthetic. Dumb but mesmerizing. But in a dumb way. My biggest takeaway from this entire experience is that I should have preserved my grandparents’ house for video sets. Never woulda thought the old people aesthetic would make a comeback so quick. Never can know.

Only For You – Heartless Bastards
Just found out that a woman sings this song, and that makes me feel some kinda way, but I don’t know what that way is yet. Great song, regardless.

Big Time Nashville Star (Live) – Shakey Graves ft. Esme Patterson
Got tickets to see the Lumineers several months ago, and it was just announced that Shakey is opening for them and I am properly SHOOK. He’s been towards the top of my to-see-live list for a few years, but it’s never quite worked out until now. So in celebration, I’ve been listening to all his music on repeat and this has become a particular favorite at the moment. It often gets outshone by Dearly Departed, which is every bit as fantastic and deserving, but I’ve enjoyed really honing in on this one. Gosh. These two are such a good pair. I’m not often one for collaborations, but I would not be the slightest bit mad if they teamed up to produce an entire album consisting of stuff like this.

Forever – HAIM
Speaking of throwbacks, this one has a very late ’80s/early ’90s pop vibe. My mom also had Gloria Estefan’s Cuts Both Ways CD for the car, and this song reminds me a lot of that whole album. It’s fun. It’s makes me want to go out and have fun. It makes me long for a car full of friends in the summertime. It’s a mood.

Rose Colored Glasses – John Conlee
This was one of the albums my parents owned while I was growing up, so that automatically grants it the advantage of nostalgia. Every time my mom popped the cd in the car, my cousin and I would beg her from the back seat to turn it to this song. Something about the tune was addictive. We were too young to understand what the term, “rose-colored glasses” even meant, but I would picture this specific pink and red tortoiseshell pair that I thought would be suitable for the old man I imagined singing the song. To this day, nearly twenty years later (ouch), I still envision those glasses when it comes on.

The Woods – Sea of Bees
Call me crazy, because I most definitely am, but I think if Julien Baker had been born as a fourth Closner sister with quainter stylistic preferences and joined the band Joseph, she’d turn out sounding something like this. But a bit darker, lyrically. Oddly specific, I know, but just roll with it.

ghosts – Jeremy Zucker
How’s “just know that I’ll be gone, and you won’t need me,” for a real punch in the gut? It’s my worst nightmare to live this song. To have a relationship that’s truly good, but to take it for granted, pushing it away in pursuit of something else -something shallow- only to later realize how badly I screwed up once it’s too late. I hold on to people too long, trying to avoid it. Disillusionment at every corner.

To keep page functionality and loading times efficient, I’m finding it best to break things up a bit. Same concept, same playlist, just a new page of infinite scroll can be found here